This is something I’ve never done before, so please bear with me. I would like to share from my journal some things I’ve written recently. These are just my thoughts, struggles, etc., and I hope that as I share what I am learning and going through God receives glory because He is worthy.
“Even if there were no heaven and no hell, would you still follow Jesus? Would you follow Him for the life, joy, and fulfillment He gives you right now?”
-Tony Campolo
I was reading through some AIM blogs and saw this quote and it completely blew my mind. So many questions immediately popped into my head. Do I claim the title “Christian” only to make myself feel better about the future? Do I say I believe in Jesus just to escape spiritual death and eternity in hell? Why do I follow Jesus? Am I expecting to gain something from it? Or do I follow Him simply because I’m in love with Him? Is it because I’m captivated by Him and I can’t stand the thought of His presence leaving me? Do I sit on the fence making sure my bases are covered, or do I hunger and thirst for Him? Do I crave life in abundance? Even though it’s hard, is obedience worth it? If I had nothing to gain from following Jesus, would I still do it out of pure love for Him? These are the questions I’m asking myself right now. I hope to love Him more each day. I hope that I learn what it means to be truly fulfilled and satisfied. I want to experience life in abundance and joy overflowing. I want my heart to break over sin and to ache for lost people to come to Jesus. I want a sense of urgency in spreading the Gospel. I want to find the joy in sharing Jesus with people. I remember a question that Mark Canada asks us so often, “Do you believe? Do you really believe?”. I need to ask myself that question – do I really believe? If I really, truly believe, how will my life look as a result? Jesus can’t be a major part of my life – He must be my entire life.
Another thing has been on my mind recently and that is “hope”. I went to a conference this past weekend and the theme of the conference was “Hope Has a Voice”. I listened to speakers talk about where they find hope and what hope looks like in their lives. This prompted me to think about what I believe hope is and where it can be found. There is definitely false hope and short-lived hope. But what is real, lasting hope and where is it? I believe that hope is Emmanuel – God with us (Dios con nosotros). Hope is the unfailing presence of the Lord. I have never been alone and I will never be alone – that’s hope. Through the difficulties and challenges, He was there. In my brightest moments and darkest hours, He was there. In victory and in defeat, He was there. As I write this now, He is here. When I go back to Mexico, He will be there. When I stumble or turn away, He will be there. When I’m looking for love or purpose or fulfillment, He will be there. To me, that is the essence of hope – the inescapable presence of the Living God. He has been with me, He is with me, and He will always be with me. That alone is the reason I can get out of bed in the morning. That’s the only reason I can live in Mexico (and the only reason I didn’t give up). His presence is hope. I can’t make it on my own, but because He is with me I can do it – not with my strength, but through His might. Hope – His presence – is why I live and move and breathe. I know that there is no temptation too great, no fear too big, no burden too heavy for Jesus…and His presence is here. For that I have hope.
