I’m writing this blog from Columbia, South Carolina! I feel like that’s kind of exciting.
As I think about the past three months, I don’t really know what to say. Sometimes it felt like I had been in Mexico my entire life, but now that I’m home it feels like it flew by. Where do I begin? Mexico wasn’t what I expected – I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. My mental image of where we would be living and what we would be doing looked a little different than how it actually is. There were good days and there were bad days. I cried a lot, but I laughed a lot more. I can’t really explain all of the experiences I’ve had, and I can’t really put into words all that I’m feeling at this moment, but I’m confident of one thing – I am learning. I know without a doubt that I was where God wanted me these past three months and He has been teaching me things that I probably wouldn’t learn here. I’m learning that I can live with so much less. I’m learning that Jesus is my best friend and needs to be the One I turn to. I’m learning that I may never feel like I have a place or feel like I’m at home, and that’s okay because my home is secure in Christ. I’m learning to value growth, even though it’s rarely easy or convenient. Now as my two worlds are crashing and colliding, I’m trying to find the balance. I’m not the same person I was three months ago. Maybe that’s a good thing, maybe it’s not; I don’t really know. But to be honest, I’m longing to relate with people. I can’t though. As much as I explain or share, no one can completely understand what these past few months of my life have been like. It’s impossible to totally explain it – my feelings now and my experiences. That’s not wrong, it’s just bringing up feelings of loneliness again. I’m not sure if I felt more alone in Mexico than I feel here. The truth is, though, that I wasn’t alone there and I’m not alone here. I can’t run to friends and expect them to fill or satisfy me. Even though they’re great, they will always let me down. They can’t quench all of my thirsts. Being here again is just another reminder of where my true home is and where my focus needs to be. Jesus is here and He will always have time for me and He will never leave me. I don’t have to feel out of place in His presence. He’s never going to let me down. I longed to be able to come home to see everyone again, but I want to long so much more to be with Jesus. I want to hunger and thirst for Him and allow Him to satisfy all of my longings.
Thank you for praying for me and for encouraging me these past three months. I would love to be able to tell you all more about it, so feel free to call me (803-447-5220) or send me an email ([email protected]). Oh, and I put up a few new pictures from the trip!
